Nine Lives?

April 8th, 2013 Comments

Red Angus CowAccording to my calculations, I’ve used up three of my nine lives. Those are just the ones I know about.

In 1981, there was an explosion during a live fire training exercise and the two guys standing on either side of me ended up in the hospital. I was untouched.

In 1992, I was on a sailboat that crashed into hidden rocks on the Alaskan coastline. We abandoned the vessel and were safely rescued. It was expensive, but unlike many, the six of us on-board survived.

Two days ago, while helping a friend on his ranch, I was charged by an overprotective cow and knocked down. It happened very quickly and I was completely unprepared. While my friend Rick was trying to tag a newborn calf, the mama cow got a little obnoxious. I was standing about 15 feet away, and a little behind Rick, when suddenly this 1500 beast was upon me.

I whacked her once across the face with the cow-whacker I had in my hand, but I still found myself on the ground. My friend was quick and he chased the cow away before she stomped me into human hamburger.

At the time, I was neither scared, nor did I feel any pain. I knew it was a dangerous situation, but it took a few hours before the real danger dawned on me. These cows look docile from a distance as they casually graze in pastures, but they can be quite dangerous.

I thanked Rick for saving my life, and as the day progressed, I grew more and more humble. I knew, without a doubt, my kids almost watched their Dad get stomped.

Also as the day grew longer, my chest and thigh began to hurt. By the next morning, my chest was very sore – and then I coughed and I felt as if my ribs were broken. As a former hockey player, I’ve been hit before, but nothing compared to what I felt yesterday.

But today is a new day, and the pain has subsided. I still can’t cough, laugh, blow my nose, or strain – but I’m going to live.

Not counting the close calls I don’t know about, I suppose I have about 5 or six lives to go.

My wife prayed a special prayer for protection that morning, and obviously that prayer was answered!

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  1. Paul Martin says:

    Has anyone thought to pray for or check up on the cow?:-)

    1. gwalter says:

      The cow has a date with destiny – or Ronald McDonald, whichever comes first!

  2. rog says:

    You forgot about that time when Mom was standing on the couch, staring you eye-to-eye when Dad walked in…. You forgot that time we were walking around BLYC at night looking to deliver the flagpole and nearly died in the dark…. You forgot that time I nailed you in the back with the arrow-head I had (sorry)…. You need to pay more attention, by my count, you have a lot less than you think…. One banana peel later and zip – you’re a goner! 🙂

    1. gwalter says:

      Actually, none of those events come even close to the three I’ve mentioned – but I did forget our little date with hypothermia up near Ramona Falls back in 1975.

  3. Thank God for answered prayers and friends willing to charge an angry “Momma Cow”.

    1. gwalter says:

      Well, yes, but I was helping him – so it’s only fair. Thanks Vicky!

  4. Meredith says:

    Hey Cousin,
    Whoever told you you’re a Cat? You’ve used up way more than your allotted share, it’s time to stop.

  5. Meredith says:

    Although I don’t have anything to complain about, God has smiled on me too. Bye!

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